Can't believe the terrible mood swings I'm having lately. Must be the PMS but I don't recall having such a bad PMS in a long time. Lately, I feel so insecure. Dunno for what reason! I feel like how I used to feel at the time I was in the last year at Uni and the period that I just graduated from Uni. I feel I'm the most ugly, undesirable person I've ever known.. I feel so old and so lack of energy. I feel depressed at times. Maybe the after effects of recovering from a long illness. Think I was ill for one whole month.. This year, my health hadn't been so good. But how can that be? I take care of myself.. I do! But I've taken the maximum no of days of MC! What's worse, its the holidays, and yet I'm still feeling NOT OKAY!

Thankfully, hubby has been very patient with me. But its not that I'm taking advantage of his patience. I have no intention to do that. I just can't control my emotions lately... And it makes me more angry with myself.... But I think I'm subconsciously angry with something else. You know.. when u don't want to blame others, u blame yourself instead and force yourself to take the blame. I don't know what's worse!

At other times, I get really happy.. like just now, after dinner with margaret at causeway point banquet ( and going window shopping for clothes - I don't find anything nice to buy- very rare), the moment i reached home, I took out the new iron i bought, and start ironing away. I finished ironing most of the pile of clothes in my wardrobe. I was so elated! Felt so happy and proud that I've completed a task. ( The steam iron was great! No more stubborn creases) AND THEN... depression sets in..

sigh

There are a few things I learn from reading my emails and some "useful" websites these days. (Yeay! Its the holidays!)

1. Blueberries and Soy products are good for health.

2. "My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.'

3. "All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.' (Yoga Journal Daily- 29th OCt )

4. 24 Hour Detox Diet Basics -
The basis for this detox diet is 4 glasses of fresh pomegranate juice, slow-cooked brown rice, a high-power vegetable salad, and 200 grams of raw almonds. ( Weekly Detox Tips newsletters- Oct 26)

5. Crunchy veges cut risk of lung cancer - broccoli, cauliflower, kale, turnips, collard greens, brussels sprouts, cabbage, rutabaga, Chinese cabbage, bok choy, horseradish, radishes, and watercress.

6. Look for products with zinc oxide or titanium dioxide as their active ingredients in sunscreens.. these are good for you. What's not good is are paraben derivatives, benzophenone-3, homosalate, 4-methylbenzylidene camphor (4-MBC), octyl-methoxycinnamate, and octyl dimethyl PABA.

Writing fewer and fewer blog entries lately. At times, I'm afraid of revealing my thoughts for others to read. But then, blogging seems the only way to jot down what's happening around me. I still keep blog entries from as early as 2 years ago.

Anyway, time to update. Iz'aan is 3 1/2 months old! HE has become so adorable! But i don't have his pics here with me now. I'll upload ASAP.

My in-laws who have been staying with me for the past 2 months or so has finally gotten their new flat at block 835, woodlands, somewhere near fushan park, somewhere near my school. They are in the process of moving their things from a flat in sengkang today. The small boxes came in yesterday. The bigger furniture are coming in today. The hassle of moving house... I wonder if I'll be moving in the future. The rooms are too small.

I'd successfully lost about 4 kg. Am 54kg now... Am ready to have a baby and looking forward to it. Don't know when God will grant me the gift.

By the way, I've been learning Salsa for the past 1 1/2 months at Nee Soon East CC with Sunita. Looking forward to the class every Friday at 7pm. I missed last session though, cos I'm not feeling well. I'd rather go out with Lin, skip the staff dinner and skip the dance. At least if I feel tired and want to go home, I can do so anytime.

TOday went for Abg Khairi's son's cukur rambut. HE has 3 children now! How time flies! Everybody asked where is Lin.

"Hai? Solo lagi? Mana Fadlin?"
"A'ah lah, solo selalu. Fadlin ada drama rehearsal kat TK. Dia kirim salam"

Solo again... sigh... what to do? Hubby is too ambitious. Everything he wants, except family. I can understand the studies and overtime part, but not the drama commitments. Throughout the time his parents are staying with us, he's hardly at home to spend time with them. He has the Gemilang comedy competition and the latest TK production rehearsals. He did spend some time over the weekends with me, but his family, esp his mum, kept asking when he'll be home. For me, I went to Yishun as much as I can. He is always busy. We haven't even gone to my sister's place for raya and his uncle's and aunties' houses. I feel so bad.

Celebrated Lin's 28th birthday at Sakura International Buffet Restaurant at Clementiwood Park, near NUS, masjid tentera. We went around NUS arts fac first before going to the restaurant. Both of us ate our fill. There were so much food!