Another update...

Sent Ilyas to the babysitter's yesterday. It was heartbreaking for me. I kept myself so busy that I was so tired by the time i fetched him. Fell asleep immediately when I went to bed at midnight. Luckily Ilyas slept throught the night as always. Sent him again just now but didn't stay long. Just long enough to see him woke up from his nap, said goodbye and a couple of kisses on the forehead. Now I understand why some mothers wanted to quit their jobs and become stay-at-home mums. Can spend more quality time with their child / children. Can engage the child in activities that develops his skills, to be the first to see each milestone, to see the child grow up right before their eyes... that's priceless. But of course, I can't afford that in our society. Unless hubby gets some big paying job locally or overseas and I can take some time off during this crucial first years.. sigh.. dream on.. Miss my son already..