Its been a very trying period for me... I didn't truly recover from the baby blues. Its been going on since the first week. I wonder if i'm suffering from post natal depression.
I feel bad. I think I've not been a good mother to Ilyas. He seems to cry whenever he's alone with me. And the thing is, I don't know what's making him cry. He doesn't want to look at me and he squirms when I hold him. Well, not all the time... but MOST of the time. My emotions just jumped from being calm to sadness to anger to feeling of hopelessness in a few minutes.
Anyway, I started to bath Ilyas on my own yesterday. He's also trying Friso after weeks of consuming Enfalac and Similac and my BM. Why the change? He vomits when he drinks Enfalac. And somehow my MIL wants him to drink everything EXCEPT similac. So she's making him try Friso this time. I wonder why? Maybe Similac is too expensive for her son to buy in later years. If that's the case, I don't mind paying for my son's milk, whatever arrangement we had then.. It hurts to see him vomit and now poo-ing a lot.
I started writing the blog feeling fine and calm and now I'm back to anger. I should stop writing. Or I might just write more things i shouldn't write..
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