Update at 5 weeks...

Ibu went back to Oman last sunday. It was my 32nd day. I'm still in confinement but I went to send her off at the airport. I don't know how many times I've ventured out since I came back from the hospital. There were countless outings cos I was depressed staying at home. Now that my confinement is almost over, I found a purpose of staying home. How ironic. I just bought a book at Marina Sq's Times bookshop on setting a routine with the baby. I am just too exhausted cos baby won't sleep at night. He keeps me awake from midnight to 6 plus. And after that, he sleeps soundly. Nothing i do can disturb him from his sleep. Of course I can always choose to nap when he's sleeping during the day but I cannot imagine the result of that unhealthy sleeping habit. I have a sleeping problem myself. Just this afternoon when I wanted to nap during his longest nap, I can't drift off to sleep due to noise from some renovation works. Its been almost a week since he stayed up throughout the night. And some nights, hubby offered to take care of him after 4 plus. Its still exhausting but I'm willing to try anything just for him. He's also cranky when he can't sleep at night, as if something is disturbing him.

I'm also finding it difficult to accept that my parents in law visits him every night. They even thought of buying a season parking at my house's carpark. I can't take it anymore so I was really direct with them about my stand on that. My parents in law are way too excited about their grandchild. What irks me sometimes is when my father in law keeps singing to him and said, Mesti kenal ni Tuknda. Takut nanti Ilyas tak kenal. Well, i am DEFINITELY sure he'll recognise him. How can he not? I find that remark hurtful cos he's implying that my son need to recognise him only and not his other grandfather. My parents may be far away, but I don't want my son to be too attached to one side of his grandparents only. They are just overdoing it. I felt hurt cos just because my parents are far away, they want sole ownership of him, at least i felt my FIL wants that. My FIL thinks my mother and brother are weirdos. So that means they are the normal people. Normal people who comes to visit the grandchild every night. I'm just hoping that their nightly visits don't interfere in my routine setting.

I wonder if all new mothers face this. I'm finding it hard to be polite and not sound rude nowadays. My parents would certainly disapprove of my behaviour. I've never been like this before. I wonder if motherhood has changed me. Bottomline, I just want the best for my son.